Analysis of Failure

After the dismal failure that has been the past 6 days, I've decided to do something I've never done before: deeply analyze the cause (and effect) of said failure in the hopes of never repeating it again.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 2009 6:00PM

After working, training, and dieting consistently well for most of the month and, by-the-way, revisiting a prior best in weight loss (236.8 lbs), I somehow managed to wreck it all after a stressful day at work.

A hurried drive home and a minor "road rage" incident (indication of stress?), I got home on edge and bothered by a nagging pain in the neck and upper back that I've been dealing with since my last Chiropractic adjustment (cause for concern?).

I briefly stared at a small cookie jar on the kitchen counter with several Nature Valley Sweet & Salty Almond bars in it. After a few seconds, I decided I deserved a little treat as I have been good lately and needed a break from the constant dieting.

Well, needless to say, that one treat turned into three, three turned into five, and five turned into an all-out binge on peppermint candies in front of the TV for an hour!

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 26 - PRESENT

I've been binging on junk-food non-stop since last Friday.

I've ravaged everything from ice-cream to pizza, to burgers, fries, and shakes.

I put on 6 pounds over the weekend alone! I've since stopped weighing myself out of shear terror.

Strong pangs of guilt are quickly replaced by pangs of hunger.

While I concede that the past 3 months have been a challenge, I never quite regained the focus I had throughout most of the first 7 months of the year when I managed to lose nearly 65 pounds.

Since injuring my back, I've been training in "fits and starts" and, consequently, progress has stalled.

Though the emphasis has shifted to rehabilitating my back, the basic goals of optimal fat loss and improved fitness remain unchanged.

WHERE DID I GO WRONG?

Not scheduling/tracking my meals made it easy to "sneak" an unplanned treat.

Succumbing to an unplanned treat absolved me of any accountability, thus other treats became just as easily "welcomed."

The "snowball" effect spiralled out of control and my self-control "muscles" were too weak to put an end to it before the damage was already done.

Temptation is all around, and the pleasures afforded by sweets and snacks are too great to combat against when the will is compromised.

A daily, renewed focus and commitment to the final objective is necessary each and every day in order to "win the day." The "armor" must be donned each and every day to guard against temptation.

WHAT CAN I DO RIGHT?

3 months remain in the year.

Goals can still be achieved if I dedicate myself to strict discipline and focus.

WHAT ARE MY GOALS FOR THE NEXT 3 MONTHS?

To keep things as simple as possible, I've boiled-down my goals to the following:

1. Lose 30 pounds.

2. Do 1 perfect pull-up.

3. Do 50 push-ups.

4. Rehab my lower back.

HOW WILL I ACHIEVE MY GOALS?

I've learned of a great technique developed by (of all people) Jerry Seinfeld. It's called "The Chain of X's." It's a simple, yet effective way to help establish positive habits in one's life. According to Jerry, he credits his success as a comic to this method. In a nutshell, you mark your calendar with a big, red 'X' every day you successfully accomplish a given task. In his case, he'd give himself an 'X' every day he'd write material for at least an hour. In my case, I've determined to give myself an 'X' every day that I,

1. Write my goals.

2. Train twice daily with at least 30 minutes of rehab work in the morning and at least 1 hour of exercise in the evenings.

3. Stick to my diet by scheduling/tracking all of my meals.

The goal is simple: I will earn an 'X' each and every day for the next 3 months.

100 Day Mark!

Wow, can't believe there's only 100 days left before New Year's in NYC! I've really begun to buckle down the last few days and I'm determined to meet my goals despite the recent setbacks and injuries. I'm slowly learning to how to work around my injuries, how not to see them as limitations but, rather, as motivation to push me further along.

On the injury front, my lower back has felt fantastic! I'd say I'm back to, maybe, 95%, with only occassional discomfort and what not. However, on sadder news, I've been feeling a lot of discomfort in my upper back ever since my last Chiropractic adjustment. I don't want to blame my chiropractor yet, but I'm begining to worry...

I'm getting back in my groove with training and diet. I've got 37 pounds to lose in three and a half months, so I better get busy!

On Elusive Self-Discipline

Discipline and consistency have been very elusive in my life. Because of this, I continue to struggle with an identity and self-esteem crisis even at age 33. As Stephen Covey puts it:

"...if you don't know yourself, if you don't control yourself, if you don't have mastery over yourself, it's very hard to like yourself, except in some short-term, psych-up, superficial way.
Real self-respect comes from dominion over self, from true independence."
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Too frequently I choose emotions over principles, impulses over commitments, pleasure over very necessary hard work. I simply haven't developed my self-discipline "muscles" enough. I'm sure we all struggle with this, but my lack of self-control impacts every aspect of my life.

We often believe that our goals and desires will be fulfilled at some distant, undefined, "fuzzy" time in the future; that we'll get ourselves "together" enough someday and somehow - magically - do whatever's necessary to achieve the desired result. But, that's utter nonsense! The hard work and discipline must begin now! It must be applied to all facets of one's life in order to live life with integrity and self-accountability. We simply cannot accept anything less than our best each and every one of the very limited days we have on this Earth. Make sure you commit yourself to working every day on the things that matter most to you - those things that will, incrementally, get you one step closer to where you want to be.

- Pete

Workout Goals & Results 7/9

DAY 65/178
Week 3 - Rehab
Weight lbs - Loss 0 - %Loss 0%

-----------------------------------------------------

TODAY'S GOALS:

DIET

1. NO cheat meals -
2. ~2100 kcals -
3. 1 gallon grean tea and/or water -
4. Log all my meals -
5. Take all my vitamins and supplements -

EXERCISE

AM: Swim/Rehab 30 min. -


PM: 60 min Rehab -
60 min Cardio -

Workout Goals & Results 7/8

DAY 64/178
Weight Loss Stats:
Weight 241.2 lbs - Loss 60.4 - %Loss 20%

-----------------------------------------------------

TODAY'S GOALS:

DIET

1. NO cheat meals - MET
2. ~2100 kcals/day spread - MET
3. 1 gallon grean tea and/or water - MET
4. Log all my meals - MET
5. Take all my vitamins and supplements - MET

EXERCISE

AM: Swim/Rehab 30 min. - MET


PM: 45 min Chest/Back/Arms - MET
60 min Cardio - MET

**Review**
Very good day today. Really kept on top of my diet and training. Did 15 minutes of Swimmers followed by about 10 minutes of Standing Reverse Hypers in the pool. The swimmers felt good, except I could really feel the injured area "working" while I extended my right leg above water. I cut the hypers a little short because I chose to listen to my body. What was it saying you ask? "Stop!" it said. I never felt any pain, but I could just feel that I had had enough.

Update & Goals for Week 3

DAY 64/178
Weight Loss Stats:
Weight 241.2 lbs - Loss 60.4 - %Loss 20%

-----------------------------------------------------

Rehab was going well until last Wednesday when I experienced a slight setback. I was feeling so good, I couldn't believe it. I was seeing just how well the rehab exercises were working and I decided to push myself a little harder. Unfortunately, my back didn't like that very much and it let me know it the next morning with some very strange hip pain. I hadn't felt that before and figured it might be some form of sciatica. However, my chiropractor told me it indicated an SI joint issue. Who knows?

All I know is that it frustrated the heck out of me. I was afraid to go back to the gym for the rest of the week. Luckily the diet suffered only a minor setback last night when I caved in to cravings and made a late night dash to Checkers for one of their burgers and shakes! :0( Bad idea!

I'm tired of the yo-yo dieting and the on-again, off-again training! I'm comitted to hitting 230 lbs by the end of September and I wan't to begin a pull-up progression and all-around upper body conditioning program in earnest.

Here then, are my goals for the week:

WEIGHT LOSS

1. Weigh 237 by Monday, 9/14/09

DIET

1. NO cheat meals
2. ~2100 kcals/day
3. 1 gallon grean tea and/or water per day

PERFORMANCE

Bird Dog 5x35
Bridges 5 1.5-minute holds
Plank 5 1-minute holds

Here's my training schedule for the week:

Monday.........AM: Swim/Rehab 30 min. PM: Mobility/Cardio
Tuesday......AM: Swim/Rehab 30 min. PM: Chest/Back/Arms/Cardio
Wednesday...AM: Swim/Rehab 30 min. PM: Mobility/Cardio
Thursday.....AM: Swim/Rehab 30 min. PM: Chest/Back/Arms/Cardio
Friday...........AM: Swim/Rehab 30 min. PM: Mobility/Cardio
Saturday......AM: Swim/Rehab 30 min. PM: Chest/Back/Arms/Cardio
Sunday.........PM: Mobility/Cardio

The Comeback!!!

DAY 48/178
Weight Loss Stats:
Weight 244.8 lbs - Loss 56.8 - %Loss 18.8%

-----------------------------------------------------


Well, I had an MRI done last week. It confirmed what I had feared all along...I have a herniated disc at L5-S1. It would be a huge understatement to say I've been depressed for the past 8 or 9 days. I felt my fitness and strength goals slipping right through my fingers. I felt lost. I felt angry. I took my frustrations out with food, binging on everything I could get my hands on, subsequently putting on over 8 pounds.

Hearing the doctors tell me to stay away from my beloved squats and deadlifts was like hearing a death sentence imposed by a angry judge. They weren't interested in hearing of my goals or of how beneficial those exercises are to general health and well-being. Their only concern is that I don't make a mess of things and be left with surgery as the only option.

In times like these, I do what I always do - immerse myself in research. I've read just about everything I could find on disc injuries and rehabilitation. I spoke to every veteran gym rat and seeminly knowledgeable trainer. I've consulted with my great chiropractor who's suffered three herniations himself and continues to practice Gracie Jui-Jitsu at age 50. Still, the lack of quality information or consensus on causes and cures has left me feeling more confused and desperate. That is, until today.

I woke up with the intense need to be proactive; to take whatever steps I can to correct the situation as best I could. I've heard from the damning: "You're best off if you steer clear of any heavy weights for the rest of your life. You don't want to f&#!k your back up any more than it already is...it's the only one you have!" -- to the inspirational: "Heck, Louie Simmons wrecked his back several times and the old guy continues to move BIG IRON. It's no big deal! Just do lots of reverse hypers and you'll be fine!!" Regardless, I'm not content to sit on my butt hoping one day I'll be well enough to pick my future children up from the floor, content to have my wife do all the "heavy lifting" for fear that "daddy might throw his back out!" No way! No how! I'm grabbing this bull by the horns and I'm making it my bi&#h!

I've developed a 19 week rehabilitation and fitness plan that should see me shed 40+ pounds, pack on a little muscle, and, hopefully, heal my back enough to allow me to continue training safely. In many ways, I'm better off than most in my situation since I am not now, nor have I ever been, in any significant pain. Except for a few days with a very sore and stiff lower back, I have been, for all intents-and-purposes, fine - free of sciatica and what-not. But seeing that nasty bulge in the MRI tells me otherwise.

There is a long road ahead...wish me luck...

PLAN 8/24/09-12/31/09
Purpose: Rehabilitation of my lower back (with the express goal of healing the L5-S1 disc herniation), continued fat loss, increasing overall strength and conditioning.


1. Split the next 19 weeks into three 4-week phases and a final 7-week phase. Each successive phase will emphasize increased intensity, frequency, volume, and difficulty of (mostly) bodyweight exercises, static and dynamic stretches, and yoga routines.

2. The primary goal is to rehab the lower back injury and hopefully return to heavy weightlifting next year.

Phase 1: Weeks 1-4 (8/24/09-9/20/09) -- Introductory Phase

1. AM: 30 min. to 1 hour of Hydrotherapy 6x/week
2. PM: MWF: 1 hour of rehab stretching, mobility, core training:
Bird Dog
Contralateral Hyperextensions
Bridges
Trunk Hypers
Planks
Curl-ups
Side Planks
Swiss Ball Bounces
Poses: Cobra, Sun Salutation Backbend, Yoga Twists, Side Twists, etc.
3. TuThSa: 1 hour of bodyweight upperbody exercises
4. 1 hour of treadmill walking 6x/week (low speed, high incline to reduce impact)

Phase 2: Weeks 5-8 (9/21/09-10/18/09) -- Adaptation Phase

1. AM: 30 min. to 1 hour of Hydrotherapy 6x/week
2. PM: M-Sa: 1 hour of rehab stretching, mobility, and core training 6x/week
3. Add more challenging rehab and bodyweight exercises. Add lower body exercises.
4. 1 hour of treadmill walking 6x/week (low speed, high incline to reduce impact)

Phase 3: Weeks 9-12 (10/19/09-11/15/09) -- Advanced Phase

1. AM: 30 min. to 1 hour of Hydrotherapy 6x/week
2. PM: M-Sa: 1 hour of rehab stretching, mobility, and core training 6x/week
3. Total body bodyweight training
4. Include Yoga 3x/week.
5. Begin Spinning classes for accelerated fat loss

Phase 4: Weeks 13-19 (11/16/09-12/31/09) -- Mastery Phase

1. Twice daily intensive Yoga 6x/week
2. Bodyweight training with some weight-bearing exercises such as weighted hyperextensions
3. Spinning classes for accelerated fat loss

Bad News: L5-S1 Compression!

DAY 35/178
Phase 1, Week 6
Weight Loss Stats:
Weight 239.4 lbs - Loss 62.2 - %Loss 20.6%

-----------------------------------------------------

Well, I officially f*%!ed up my back during that leg workout I had on 7/31. I spent most of last week layed-up on the couch with a bag of frozen peas on my back. I was definitely scared, especially because it had appeared that I was getting better. The injury also seemed strange because I kept good form and was lifting very light weight. But I spent the night prior to the workout intensely stretching and adjusting myself and, I suspect, this led to weak, tender back muscles that needed more R&R and not excessive, unnecessary strain. Regardless, I could barely get out of bed the next day. This was particularly discouraging since I had never had this happen to me even after my original injury back in March. Never once did I miss a workout, lose sleep, or need extended bed rest until now.

This pain lasted for most of the week, until my girlfriend gave me the number of a Chiropractor she sees often. She highly recommended him and told me how treatments had cured her Sciatica years ago. I figured I had nothing to lose and decided to make an appointment. Boy, am I glad I did!!!!

I am now a total convert to the power of Chiropractic care! Far from quacks, these guys can really make all the difference in the world in terms of the health of the spine. My first visit, I walked into the clinic limping and slouched-over in pain; I walked out limber, alert, and pain-free! I couldn't believe it! I felt so good, I went back the next day for another adjustment and another round of ultrasound therapy. Right now, as I write this, I feel fantastic! Apart from a little stiffness, the general discomfort and pain I've been grappling with for the past 4 months is gone!!!

But the news isn't all good. The x-rays revealed compression at the L5-S1 disk and this came as a total shock. I literally slumped in my chair as the doctor went over the x-rays. I felt even worse after he told me I needed to lay off heavy weight training while my back heals. But I was encouraged by the fact that recovery is possible.


Now I have to revisit my goals and my training program. Squats and deadlifts are out, and bodyweight exercises and abdominal training are in - at least for now. I have to really focus on continued fat-loss as the extra weight is putting too much pressure on my lower back. I've got to strengthen my body overall and emphasize total recovery.

I will be developing a new training program and will be experimenting with new exercises and training methods in the gym this week. The goals are basically the same - fat loss, strength gains - but the way I exercise will have to be different.