Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Week 1 Goals
DAY 84/180
Weight Loss Stats:
Weight 273.6 lbs - Loss 28 - %Loss 9.3%
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O.K., so the 14 Week Challenge begins tomorrow! I'm already off to a great start having lost 7 pounds this week already! Some simple math tells me that, if I manage to average a loss of 3 pounds per week, I could weigh nearly 230 pounds by July 4th making for a total loss of nearly 72 pounds in 6 months! Not bad.
So, without further adieau, here are the goals I want to achieve for week 1:
1. Weigh 270 pounds.
2. Train 2-a-days Monday-Saturday.
3. Meet or exceed the last performance on all P-90X workouts.
4. Eat at least 5 meals per day.
5. Track all meals.
6. Consume 250 grams of protein per day.
Weight Loss Stats:
Weight 273.6 lbs - Loss 28 - %Loss 9.3%
-----------------------------------------------------
O.K., so the 14 Week Challenge begins tomorrow! I'm already off to a great start having lost 7 pounds this week already! Some simple math tells me that, if I manage to average a loss of 3 pounds per week, I could weigh nearly 230 pounds by July 4th making for a total loss of nearly 72 pounds in 6 months! Not bad.
So, without further adieau, here are the goals I want to achieve for week 1:
1. Weigh 270 pounds.
2. Train 2-a-days Monday-Saturday.
3. Meet or exceed the last performance on all P-90X workouts.
4. Eat at least 5 meals per day.
5. Track all meals.
6. Consume 250 grams of protein per day.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Sandbag Training is Awesome!!!
DAY 80/90
Phase 3, Week 12, Routine -
Weight Loss Stats:
Weight 276.6 lbs - Loss 25 - %Loss 8.29%
-----------------------------------------------------
Had two amazing sandbag workouts today. For my fasted AM workout, I did sandbag tosses and sprints for 30 minutes - a great metabolic workout. It felt great! Being outdoors, a beautiful day in South Florida...I couldn't have been happier.
For my PM workout, Rob and I had an absolutely amazing sandbag workout with the heavy bag - lovingly dubbed "Big Mamma" - for over 1.5 hours! We did everything from Bear squats, shoulder squats and lunges, to Clean and Presses and more! I couldn't believe what an amazing training tool the sandbag is. There are an infinite possibility of exercises you can do and the dynamic, shifting motion of the sand makes for incredible full-body workouts. The "dead weight" nature of a heavy sandbag makes even small weights feel like they're much heavier and sandbags are also great for grip training (I can hardly make a fist after tonight's workout). And the best part? Sandbags are cheap! Where else can you get 200 pounds of resistance for only $9? This is classic Strongman training! I love it!
BIG MAMMA!!!
Phase 3, Week 12, Routine -
Weight Loss Stats:
Weight 276.6 lbs - Loss 25 - %Loss 8.29%
-----------------------------------------------------
Had two amazing sandbag workouts today. For my fasted AM workout, I did sandbag tosses and sprints for 30 minutes - a great metabolic workout. It felt great! Being outdoors, a beautiful day in South Florida...I couldn't have been happier.
For my PM workout, Rob and I had an absolutely amazing sandbag workout with the heavy bag - lovingly dubbed "Big Mamma" - for over 1.5 hours! We did everything from Bear squats, shoulder squats and lunges, to Clean and Presses and more! I couldn't believe what an amazing training tool the sandbag is. There are an infinite possibility of exercises you can do and the dynamic, shifting motion of the sand makes for incredible full-body workouts. The "dead weight" nature of a heavy sandbag makes even small weights feel like they're much heavier and sandbags are also great for grip training (I can hardly make a fist after tonight's workout). And the best part? Sandbags are cheap! Where else can you get 200 pounds of resistance for only $9? This is classic Strongman training! I love it!
BIG MAMMA!!!
14 Week Plan
I am inspired! I've realized my recent setback has not really derailed my goals. In fact, I've already lost 4 pounds since Monday and am now at the same weight I was when I got back with my ex - the start of all my troubles.
I say I'm inspired because there are still over 14 weeks left before July 4th and, given my current weight, I see no problem coming in at 235 pounds or better; a mere 15 pounds off of my original (and possibly unrealistic) goal of 220 pounds. But more importantly than the weight, I thought about the amazing improvements I can make in my strength and conditioning. I wondered: Hmmm...just how good a physique can I develop in 14 weeks of focused, intense training and dieting?
So this will be my goal: to apply the same training and diet philosophies in a more focused manner for the next 14 weeks. It really is just doing the same things I began doing but with the intensity and laser-like focus I had originally strived for, but lost over time. Looking back at those first six weeks, I realized that I was working my way towards a downfall even before I met my ex-girlfriend. To use a favorite phrase: I let the edges "blur." This is normally the first symptom of a lack of motivation and the first indication that - if left unaddressed - major problems will unfold. For instance, I was never able to truly "dial-in" my diet. I struggled to eat six meals per day and my calories dropped dangerously low. I also failed to include enough fruits and vegetables. As for training, I noticed that I began to train mechanically without any real goals to propel me. Training was a daily chore and one I would put off doing as much as possible. As I read my old blog posts, I notice that I tended to train very late into the evening, often training before bed - when I was most tired.
As a whole, it seems, that though I was consistent in my training and diet, they simply were not optimal. I was cutting myself short by cutting so many corners. I failed to implement the right combination of discipline and routine to make my efforts truly effective. What then if I make such a concerted effort over the next 14 weeks? Just what will I be able to achieve?
Here, then, is my 14 week plan:
EXERCISE
1. Train 2-a-days Monday - Saturday. Use Sundays to stretch and recuperate.
AM Workout: 30 minutes fasted sandbag complexes and sprints.
PM Workout: P90-X + Strongman or beach walk for an hour (I may alternate Strongman with Circuit Runs at the park). I should schedule the
P90-X and Strongman/Cardio workouts back-to-back in order to prevent turning it into 3-a-days.
2. Set goals for every workout. Set long-term training goals.
3. Set intensity goals for every workout. Strive for maximum intensity in every workout.
DIET
1. Limit calories to 2300 kcal per day.
2. Eat six small meals per day.
3. Include at least 3 servings of vegetables per day.
4. Drink 1 gallon of water/green tea per day.
5. Take 3 Tbsp of fish oil per day.
As you can see, this isn't at all different from my initial plan. The only difference will be on strictly adhering to this plan. My goal is not to waiver from doing these things for the next 14 weeks. I'd like to see what being truly committed can really achieve.
I say I'm inspired because there are still over 14 weeks left before July 4th and, given my current weight, I see no problem coming in at 235 pounds or better; a mere 15 pounds off of my original (and possibly unrealistic) goal of 220 pounds. But more importantly than the weight, I thought about the amazing improvements I can make in my strength and conditioning. I wondered: Hmmm...just how good a physique can I develop in 14 weeks of focused, intense training and dieting?
So this will be my goal: to apply the same training and diet philosophies in a more focused manner for the next 14 weeks. It really is just doing the same things I began doing but with the intensity and laser-like focus I had originally strived for, but lost over time. Looking back at those first six weeks, I realized that I was working my way towards a downfall even before I met my ex-girlfriend. To use a favorite phrase: I let the edges "blur." This is normally the first symptom of a lack of motivation and the first indication that - if left unaddressed - major problems will unfold. For instance, I was never able to truly "dial-in" my diet. I struggled to eat six meals per day and my calories dropped dangerously low. I also failed to include enough fruits and vegetables. As for training, I noticed that I began to train mechanically without any real goals to propel me. Training was a daily chore and one I would put off doing as much as possible. As I read my old blog posts, I notice that I tended to train very late into the evening, often training before bed - when I was most tired.
As a whole, it seems, that though I was consistent in my training and diet, they simply were not optimal. I was cutting myself short by cutting so many corners. I failed to implement the right combination of discipline and routine to make my efforts truly effective. What then if I make such a concerted effort over the next 14 weeks? Just what will I be able to achieve?
Here, then, is my 14 week plan:
EXERCISE
1. Train 2-a-days Monday - Saturday. Use Sundays to stretch and recuperate.
AM Workout: 30 minutes fasted sandbag complexes and sprints.
PM Workout: P90-X + Strongman or beach walk for an hour (I may alternate Strongman with Circuit Runs at the park). I should schedule the
P90-X and Strongman/Cardio workouts back-to-back in order to prevent turning it into 3-a-days.
2. Set goals for every workout. Set long-term training goals.
3. Set intensity goals for every workout. Strive for maximum intensity in every workout.
DIET
1. Limit calories to 2300 kcal per day.
2. Eat six small meals per day.
3. Include at least 3 servings of vegetables per day.
4. Drink 1 gallon of water/green tea per day.
5. Take 3 Tbsp of fish oil per day.
As you can see, this isn't at all different from my initial plan. The only difference will be on strictly adhering to this plan. My goal is not to waiver from doing these things for the next 14 weeks. I'd like to see what being truly committed can really achieve.
Fitness Mode
DAY 79/90
Phase 3, Week 12, Routine -
Weight Loss Stats:
Weight 279.4 lbs - Loss 22.2 - %Loss 7.4%
-----------------------------------------------------
Today I felt surprisingly good about myself. I understood that there will be ups and downs in this process of adapting to a new life-long lifestyle. Setbacks are natural and to be expected. Strangely, I got right back into a "fitness mode" mentality. It helped that the scale read 279.4 this morning too.
My morning sandbag workout went great. I trained for a solid 30 minutes alternating between running sandbag tosses and sprints. My cold seemed to have gotten worse last night and I had a hard time falling asleep because of a nasty cough. This morning, a runny nose had me blowing "snot rockets" throughout the entire workout. This was good, though as the hard training helped me clear my sinuses. I actually felt very good the rest of the day.
I chose to skip the evening workout as I felt sick, tired, and felt it best to ease back into training. I'm actually OK with this. I felt like I took positive steps in the right direction today and I'm happy about that.
Phase 3, Week 12, Routine -
Weight Loss Stats:
Weight 279.4 lbs - Loss 22.2 - %Loss 7.4%
-----------------------------------------------------
Today I felt surprisingly good about myself. I understood that there will be ups and downs in this process of adapting to a new life-long lifestyle. Setbacks are natural and to be expected. Strangely, I got right back into a "fitness mode" mentality. It helped that the scale read 279.4 this morning too.
My morning sandbag workout went great. I trained for a solid 30 minutes alternating between running sandbag tosses and sprints. My cold seemed to have gotten worse last night and I had a hard time falling asleep because of a nasty cough. This morning, a runny nose had me blowing "snot rockets" throughout the entire workout. This was good, though as the hard training helped me clear my sinuses. I actually felt very good the rest of the day.
I chose to skip the evening workout as I felt sick, tired, and felt it best to ease back into training. I'm actually OK with this. I felt like I took positive steps in the right direction today and I'm happy about that.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I've Screwed Up
DAY 78/90
Phase 3, Week 12, Routine -
Weight Loss Stats:
Weight 280.6 lbs - Loss 20 - %Loss 6.63%
-----------------------------------------------------
I've messed up. I've really messed things up. I knew that getting back with my ex would derail my efforts, but thinking with "my other head" led me astray as always. It's been 5 weeks since I got back with her, and I managed to train - really train - for only 1 of those 5 weeks. The rest of the time, I'm sad to say, was spent battling a nagging case of the flu/cold and indulging in bad food. I take some measure of comfort in the fact that exercise (or the lack thereof) was constantly on my mind. I persisitently beat myself up about not training, turning my diet to shit, and failing to post to my blog. I cursed myself for breaking that wonderful routine I had followed for 6 straight weeks only to now waste my days with a woman I've struggled to get out of my life for nearly two years.
We go together like oil and water. Together, we make a toxic blend that benefits neither one. It is a relationship of convenience and co-dependency. And we bring out only the worst in each other. The only thing that keeps us together is the sizzling sexual chemistry we share. She, a HOT 40-year-old mother of two in her sexual prime. Me, a 33-year-old douchebag with a hyperactive sexual drive. Mix us together and the sparks fly! I now see why Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are still together.
But our getting together was only one in a long series of failures. You see, we had both made a New Year's pact to end our relationship for good. But willpower faltered after only less than two months. This set off a chain reaction with me first coming down with the flu (courtesy our first kiss) during the week of February 16th - week #7 in my training program. I "copped out" by choosing not to train that week in order to let my health improve. Next, I reasoned: "Well, it would be bad to calorie-restrict myself while sick, right? Soooooo...I think all the wholesome milk and eggs that went into making that chocolate cake will do me plenty of good. Have at it!!!"
This was all it took to throw me off my rhythm. What has made it all the more difficult is the fact that a major goal of my program was that I stay the course for the entire 6 months. That is, that I never miss a workout or cheat on my diet. This is obviously no longer possible: I've now done both. To compound matters, I got naseous while attempting to train at the park last Friday the 13th (figures, huh?) and I've been sick with nagging cold symptoms ever since. It's gotten to the point where I'm getting real concerned about my health and am wondering if it's even a cold at all. I've just spend the last 2 hours searching the internet for similar symptoms and have eliminated everything from strep throat to Lyme disease! I may have to man-up and go to the doctor if this persists much longer.
But now back to my training. What do I do now? I attempted a sandbag workout this afternoon with my training buddy, Rob, but felt excessively tired afterward.
I wanted to follow that up with another session at home, but I was too tired to even attempt it.
The one bright spot in all this? That would be the fact I gained only 5 pounds after nearly two weeks of pigging out! I couldn't believe the scale this morning!
Still, how do you get back on the horse when the horse is dragging you with your boot caught in the stirrup? I gained hope with the words Rob said to me today: "You only fail if you give up." The fact is, there is still enough time to get very close to my goal weight come July 4th.
I am faced with a very simple choice: go back, or keep moving forward despite the setback. Simple indeed.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Sick Again!
Sorry for not posting lately, folks. It seems that I'm "under the weather" again. It's a consequence of dating a woman with two school-aged children who seem to always bring home some kind of bug or virus with them. She's been unable to kick a terrible cough and I've been feeling run-down and ragged since Friday. I don't feel sick, per se, but everytime I try to train, my energy gets sapped from me and I spend the rest of the day feeling week and naseous. Just today, I went for a training circuit at the park, and had to stop 10 minutes into it. I've begun downing mega-doses of vitamin C in the hopes this thing will go away. I will update as soon as I get better!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Day 59 - Three-a-Days!!!
DAY 59/90
Phase 3, Week 9, Routine 3
Shoulder & Arms & Abs & Neck
Intensity: 9
Weight Loss Stats:
Weight 278 lbs - Loss 23.6 - %Loss 7.82%
-----------------------------------------------------
Great training day today. I actually trained 3 times today, and I still have energy for some more! I feel great!
I bested my previous performance on sandbag complexes in the morning. I did 4 full cycles of Bear Sandbag Complexes + C&J Tosses in under 30 minutes. I felt really strong with the sandbags. Later in the afternoon I went on a 1 hour walk/run through the park with my girlfriend. We added sprints up hills, and circuits using exercise stations scattered throughout the park trail. It was awesome! Lastly, I trained Shoulders and Arms in the evening. I moved up in weight, but had to cut things a little short at the end...I was just spent. Soon afterwards, though, I got a second wind and a blast of adrenaline for some reason. I'm still feeling this post-workout rush!
3-a-days are a bit much to expect of myself, but today's training went very, very well. I am pleased with myself.
Phase 3, Week 9, Routine 3
Shoulder & Arms & Abs & Neck
Intensity: 9
Weight Loss Stats:
Weight 278 lbs - Loss 23.6 - %Loss 7.82%
-----------------------------------------------------
Great training day today. I actually trained 3 times today, and I still have energy for some more! I feel great!
I bested my previous performance on sandbag complexes in the morning. I did 4 full cycles of Bear Sandbag Complexes + C&J Tosses in under 30 minutes. I felt really strong with the sandbags. Later in the afternoon I went on a 1 hour walk/run through the park with my girlfriend. We added sprints up hills, and circuits using exercise stations scattered throughout the park trail. It was awesome! Lastly, I trained Shoulders and Arms in the evening. I moved up in weight, but had to cut things a little short at the end...I was just spent. Soon afterwards, though, I got a second wind and a blast of adrenaline for some reason. I'm still feeling this post-workout rush!
3-a-days are a bit much to expect of myself, but today's training went very, very well. I am pleased with myself.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Week 9 Goals
It may be a little late in the week for this, but better late than never.
My goals for week 9 are as follows:
1. Lose at least 4 pounds. Goal weight: 274
2. Average intensity level of 10 on every workout. Give 100%.
3. Train 2-a-days. AM Workout: 30 min sandbag complexes PM Workout: P90X + walk/run for 1 hr everyday.
4. Eat 6 meals per day seperated by at least 2 hours.
5. Establish daily training/diet/sleep routine. Aim to train at the same time every day, eat at set times, and sleep eight hours daily. Also try to limit time with girlfriend.
6. Yoga: attempt the first balance posture
7. Establish a grip training routine to begin week 10.
My goals for week 9 are as follows:
1. Lose at least 4 pounds. Goal weight: 274
2. Average intensity level of 10 on every workout. Give 100%.
3. Train 2-a-days. AM Workout: 30 min sandbag complexes PM Workout: P90X + walk/run for 1 hr everyday.
4. Eat 6 meals per day seperated by at least 2 hours.
5. Establish daily training/diet/sleep routine. Aim to train at the same time every day, eat at set times, and sleep eight hours daily. Also try to limit time with girlfriend.
6. Yoga: attempt the first balance posture
7. Establish a grip training routine to begin week 10.
Day 58 - Extra Water = More Pounds
DAY 58/90
Phase 3, Week 9, Routine 6
Kenpo X
Intensity: 10
Weight Loss Stats:
Weight 279 lbs - Loss 22.6 - %Loss 7.49%
-----------------------------------------------------
Good day today. Morning sandbag complexes went well and I walked for an hour in the afternoon, followed by an intense Kenpo X workout in the evening. I replaced the Plyo workout with Kenpo because of my ankle. It's now about 90% and the high impact of plyometrics will aggravate it.
Weight went up a couple of pounds, but I think that may be due to the increase in water intake yesterday. I didn't overeat, kept carbs low, and trained well yesterday, so I blame the weight gain on the extra water.
Phase 3, Week 9, Routine 6
Kenpo X
Intensity: 10
Weight Loss Stats:
Weight 279 lbs - Loss 22.6 - %Loss 7.49%
-----------------------------------------------------
Good day today. Morning sandbag complexes went well and I walked for an hour in the afternoon, followed by an intense Kenpo X workout in the evening. I replaced the Plyo workout with Kenpo because of my ankle. It's now about 90% and the high impact of plyometrics will aggravate it.
Weight went up a couple of pounds, but I think that may be due to the increase in water intake yesterday. I didn't overeat, kept carbs low, and trained well yesterday, so I blame the weight gain on the extra water.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Day 57 - Start of Phase 3
DAY 57/90
Phase 3, Week 9, Routine 1
Chest & Back
Intensity: 10
Weight Loss Stats:
Weight 277.0 lbs - Loss 24.6 - %Loss 8.16%
-----------------------------------------------------
Had a good start to Phase 3. This phase requires that one put forth a maximum, all-out effort in every workout as it signals the end of the program. In my case, it will signal the end of my first of two rounds through the program.
I will be implementing two-a-day workouts to accelerate weight loss a much as I can. I've built a sandbag for training complexes at a nearby park first thing every morning. I will be doing these before eating breakfast to maximize the fat burn. Nothing like fasted complexes with a heavy sandbag to stoke your metabolism!
I trained sandbags for 30 minutes in the morning, walked a little in the afternoon, and trained chest, back, abs, and neck hard in the evening. Diet was also pretty good, having eaten eggs, tuna, spaghetti and meatballs (very little spaghetti), and my special kefir smoothies.
Phase 3, Week 9, Routine 1
Chest & Back
Intensity: 10
Weight Loss Stats:
Weight 277.0 lbs - Loss 24.6 - %Loss 8.16%
-----------------------------------------------------
Had a good start to Phase 3. This phase requires that one put forth a maximum, all-out effort in every workout as it signals the end of the program. In my case, it will signal the end of my first of two rounds through the program.
I will be implementing two-a-day workouts to accelerate weight loss a much as I can. I've built a sandbag for training complexes at a nearby park first thing every morning. I will be doing these before eating breakfast to maximize the fat burn. Nothing like fasted complexes with a heavy sandbag to stoke your metabolism!
I trained sandbags for 30 minutes in the morning, walked a little in the afternoon, and trained chest, back, abs, and neck hard in the evening. Diet was also pretty good, having eaten eggs, tuna, spaghetti and meatballs (very little spaghetti), and my special kefir smoothies.
Lack of Focus, Women, & The Flu
Week 7 was by far the biggest challenge I've yet faced. A spur-of-the-moment decision to visit an ex-girlfriend resulted in us getting back together. This is bad. Very bad. Ours is a mutually destructive relationship based on crippling co-dependency and ravenous, wall-busting fights. As proof of just how bad this woman is for me, as a token of her affection, she gave me a severe case of the flu after our first night together! That put me out of commission all of week 7. It would have been worse, much worse, had it not been for the fact that I barely ate while sick and lost an astounding 9 pounds in one week - allowing me to meet my weight loss goals for the month!
Still, I regret ever showing up at her front door. We do nothing but waste entire days lounging and talking - not-to-mention our fondness for food and inactivity, and together we are a perfect recipe for disaster. We derail each others' lives and I fear she may derail my goals if I'm not careful.
To be honest, I can't blame all the missed workouts on her or influenza, however. I used the time as an excuse to "detrain" a bit - get away from daily training for a little while with the hopes I'd come back better and stronger for week 8. Unfortunately, week 8 didn't turn out much better. I trained maybe 2 or 3 days the entire week preferring instead to waste my days with her. I also cheated on my diet several times. Luckily, never enough to actually gain any significant weight. Still, the fact I've eaten these forbidden foods means I've already failed to meet my goal of eating clean 100% of the time for 6 months. Also, the fact I missed so many workouts without an illness to blame it on, has affected me strongly.
Phase 3 of the program began this week (week 9) and I'm committed to getting back on track. In fact, yesterday, I noticed a large increase in strength. I managed to do 25 perfect push-ups - something I've never been able to do before. So, it seems the time off wasn't entirely bad, but I'm more concerned about the harm it's done psychologically. Having gotten away from my rythm, how do I find a way to recapture it? My entire program was based on never missing a workout or cheating on my diet regardless of the excuse. Now, how do I continue after my streak has ended?
I realized today that this is all part and parcel to making fitness a lifestyle and not just something you do in fits and spurts. You have to overcome the tendency to return to old, familiar behavior and fight the loss of focus and motivation that often happens when you're working towards something difficult and worthwhile. In my case, I simply have too much riding on it to fail. I cannot face family, friends, and you guys if I did fail. Deep down, the desire is still there. There remains that unflinching internal conviction that my goals WILL BE MET! It is a drive bigger than myself pushing me, even dragging me along this path to personal growth. The time has come for me to climb my "Everest." So what if I stayed at a camp on my way to the summit for a couple of weeks? At least I didn't climb back down the mountain. Now is time to strap my gear on and prepare myself for the remaining climb that lies ahead. I can see the peaks off in the distance and I know I will get there with continued diligence.
Still, I regret ever showing up at her front door. We do nothing but waste entire days lounging and talking - not-to-mention our fondness for food and inactivity, and together we are a perfect recipe for disaster. We derail each others' lives and I fear she may derail my goals if I'm not careful.
To be honest, I can't blame all the missed workouts on her or influenza, however. I used the time as an excuse to "detrain" a bit - get away from daily training for a little while with the hopes I'd come back better and stronger for week 8. Unfortunately, week 8 didn't turn out much better. I trained maybe 2 or 3 days the entire week preferring instead to waste my days with her. I also cheated on my diet several times. Luckily, never enough to actually gain any significant weight. Still, the fact I've eaten these forbidden foods means I've already failed to meet my goal of eating clean 100% of the time for 6 months. Also, the fact I missed so many workouts without an illness to blame it on, has affected me strongly.
Phase 3 of the program began this week (week 9) and I'm committed to getting back on track. In fact, yesterday, I noticed a large increase in strength. I managed to do 25 perfect push-ups - something I've never been able to do before. So, it seems the time off wasn't entirely bad, but I'm more concerned about the harm it's done psychologically. Having gotten away from my rythm, how do I find a way to recapture it? My entire program was based on never missing a workout or cheating on my diet regardless of the excuse. Now, how do I continue after my streak has ended?
I realized today that this is all part and parcel to making fitness a lifestyle and not just something you do in fits and spurts. You have to overcome the tendency to return to old, familiar behavior and fight the loss of focus and motivation that often happens when you're working towards something difficult and worthwhile. In my case, I simply have too much riding on it to fail. I cannot face family, friends, and you guys if I did fail. Deep down, the desire is still there. There remains that unflinching internal conviction that my goals WILL BE MET! It is a drive bigger than myself pushing me, even dragging me along this path to personal growth. The time has come for me to climb my "Everest." So what if I stayed at a camp on my way to the summit for a couple of weeks? At least I didn't climb back down the mountain. Now is time to strap my gear on and prepare myself for the remaining climb that lies ahead. I can see the peaks off in the distance and I know I will get there with continued diligence.
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