Man-boy

Despite being 32 years old, measurings 6' 2", and weighing nearly 300 pounds, I've never felt like a man. Despite my imposing figure, I'm actually a fat, lazy, limp-wristed man-boy.

Since I don't feel like a man, I'm sure others don't see me as one either; I'm not taken seriously by family or by the random guy on the street.

People often ask me if I play football because I look like a linebacker. But I think I look more like "Blaster" from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome:





I also feel just like Adam Sandler's emotionally crippled character in Punch Drunk Love:



Yes, I know. I'm FUCKED UP!!

A man should conquer himself. He should exude strength. But I exude anything but.

A close friend once described me as a walking contradiction. My size and strong personality fill up a room as soon as I walk in. But inside I am crippled by insecurities. I feel like I often fade into the background as anxiety puts its death-grip 'round my throat. God, I have to come out of this shell!