"But How did I get Here?"

The sunlight is in my eyes; it forces me to squint though I try not to while she tells me to pose and smile: "OK, just one more picture, babe. Big smile! CHEEEEESE!!!" Snap!

I can feel the sun as it burns the skin - and the warm, soft sand feels good between my toes. Now I feel a bead of sweat roll from somewhere near my neck down to my chest and onwards towards my stomach. It captures my attention for a moment and forces me to look down. "Wow!" I think to myself. The sudden realization that I can stare straight down and see my feet still amazes me. I still haven't gotten used to it.

Pride and satisfaction swell up within me. I can barely contain myself. Here I am and it's just as I pictured it would be over six months ago! I'm standing in front of the Key West Lighthouse posing - sans t-shirt - while my hot girlfriend snaps a picture to capture this incredible moment. This perfect moment when effort meets accomplishment. Reward. The day is beautiful, the sky is clear, and the sun shines through mightily. Key West feels electric as it always does on Independence Day. It seems that every one with a boat in the state of Florida has made it down. The beer flows freely and the girls are everywhere! It couldn't be more perfect.



Everywhere I go, I go shirtless. What a new sensation this is. I'm gonna get one heck of a sunburn! But who cares? I can finally walk in public without a shirt on! I'm not self-conscious of a jiggling belly, or embarrassed to death by my man-boobs. Stares are now stares of admiration or desire. I know I look slim and tone. And I feel proud. I have finally accomplished something worthwhile. I have slayed my personal dragon.



But this wasn't easy. The last six months were gruelling and I have never had to exert myself that hard. Willpower? I've got it in spades now. But this wasn't the case in the beginning.

Two months after I started dieting and training - after the initial motivation had long worn off - the hardcore food cravings began. I couldn't drive past a pizza joint without my mouth salivating like Pavlov's dog. I went through ugly sugar withdrawal symptoms too. But I kept on going. I simply had too much to lose if I gave into temptation. I knew what indulging just a little would lead to. I know the "snowball effect" all too well. One innocent little Hershey's Kiss would, three days later, lead to an all-out junk food binge and Pity Parties galore! No. I could not let that happen again. Not this time.

I would also sit and go through a litany of excuses why not to train - or, when I'd finally muster the courage to train, why it would be OK not to give 110% effort: "It's alright. You're sooooo sore from yesterday's workout. Just do a few crunches and call it a day; you deserve it." But I never once allowed myself to "blur the edges" that way. I knew that strict discipline had to be maintained. One slight misstep would unravel everything. I had to keep my eye on the prize.

This was especially hard while traveling. My job requires me to do a lot of traveling - both abroad and domestic. And anyone who's done any traveling can tell you how hard it is to eat clean and maintain a training routine while on the road. This was no doubt my biggest challenge. The detailed planning that went into preparing for all my trips. All those times where, after catching a "red-eye" to God-knows-where, I'd drag myself to my hotel room and be faced with the decision to get the day's workout session in or succumb to the dire need for sleep. But never once did I let myself "hit the sack." No matter what time and no matter how tired I was, I always managed to get my gym clothes on, an drag my tired ass to the hotel's shitty "gym."



This day is the cumulative effect of all of those decisions not to falter; to "stay the course," in Bush-speak. I never allowed myself to "blur the edges." If I was supposed to train for an hour that day, then train for an hour I did - intensely! I conquered each and every food craving. I avoided situations that would lead to temptation. I refused to have cake for my birthday; I stayed away from beer and liquor. And, if I did drink, I drank only a glass of wine or two. In short, I did whatever I had to do in order to ensure that this day would come.

But how did I stay so motivated? Well, we'll leave that for next time.






I finally feel like I've accomplished something.